| | so this weekend we, like so many other people, beat a pinata to death. however, unlike most others, our comrades ditched school to go to fuggin mexico to get their hands on this pinata, because we like our pinatas 100% authentic i guess. then i was enlightened to the existence of one jack malcolm thorpe fleming churchill, second manliest manlyman to grace this universe, behind monsieur mangetout. j.churchill fought through worldwar2 armed with bow&arrows and a claymore, yet was somehow qualified to be a commanding officer. probably a slap to the face to the germans he caught; large sophisticated weapons arent impressive at all, whats beautiful is destroying an entire garrison of german soldiers armed with modern firearms and explosives wielding weaponry invented in the paleozoic era. as for monsieur mangetout, hes been eating glass and metal since 1958 and has consumed 18 bicycles, 15 shopping carriages, seven television sets, six chandeliers, two beds, a pair of skis, a computer, and a Cessna light aircraft. and has yet to die. thats pretty neat, i mean we've all got out talents i guess (jesusfckingchrist). and did i mention that we had to change outside the reagan library after prom, in the open. grody. but apart from that, i miss the postprom atmosphere. also, apparently people were arrested camping out behind medeacreek smoking, and in posession of a machete. on a related note, zedonks and ligers are in fact real and exist amongst us today, and tila tequila was voted #1 internet celebrity by fortune magazine, which leads into my discussion of sodom and gomorrah. maybe i read the story wrong, or maybe it's the worst story ever (or maybe i staple it to you? -.-). haanyways, this is completely wrong but: god decides to put a jihad on the town of sodom because the men are evil, two angels disguised as men are sent there to find good people but they only find one, some player named lot, who they dine with. that night the men of the city surround lot's house and theyr like dude give us those you guys who went into your house so that we can "be intimate with them", to which lot was like niggawhat, and this lively banter continued until lot went 'probably take my two virgin daughters or something, just leave these two men alone,' because offering up your two daughters for rape is that much better than sacrificing two strangers, angels as they might be, godly man that lot was. i think it was at this point where the angels kinda went 'jesus christ, lets bail the fuck out of here' and instructed lot and his family to flee sodom moments before god rained deathbombs of hate upon the city. then i think lot's wife turns into a pillar of salt for looking back. a few verses later, lot's daughters have sex with him. uhhh moral of the story? dont read the bible. probably kidding, but what? |
| | Posted 5/7/2006 3:46 PM - 32 Views - 6 eProps - 3 comments
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